


A Lovely Shade of Green

by playout, PrinnPrick



Series: Love (and) Letters [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Epistolary, Fluff, Gen or Pre-Slash, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 09:43:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4430510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playout/pseuds/playout, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinnPrick/pseuds/PrinnPrick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is a dead man. Nobody messes with Draco's hair and lives. Even if it was an accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lovely Shade of Green

Mione,

I am in huge trouble! I may or may not have accidentally on purpose, totally not my fault but kind of, done something to Malfoy that is going to make him kill me and demand reassignment (in that order).

His hair is now green.

He hasn't noticed it yet (a miracle, considering how often he looks in the mirror) and besides some odd glances from the other blokes on the floor, he doesn't have a clue.

Good Godrick, I need a counter curse. As fast as is humanly possible. If anyone can come through for me, it's you. I swear all I was trying to do was transfigure my shirt green as a show of good faith--that whole "being civil like adults" thing you keep preaching--and missed. By a foot.

I love you more than treacle tart.

Harry

******

Potter,

I have gone home for the day. Apparently _someone_ turned my hair green without my noticing and the colour change has resisted all my attempts at correction thus far (which, as I'm sure you can imagine, is not conducive to conveying the professional Auror look). I don't suppose you have any idea who might be responsible for such a mean-spirited and juvenile prank, do you?

Kingsley has assured me he will take every measure to get to the bottom of this mystery and respond with swift and brutal disciplinary action when the culprit is discovered. It reflects very poorly on his reform and restoration initiatives, you see.

In the meantime, I'm afraid you will have to perform double duty in dealing with your caseload as well as mine. Hopefully I will be able to return to work soon. It may take me a few days even after my hair is set to rights to deal with the emotional trauma, however.

Enjoy the extra paperwork.

DM

******

Dear Malfoy,

I am already looking for a solution to your hair problem. I openly admit it was entirely my fault and I have no issue with making up the work for both of us. I was trying to transfigure the shirt I had worn as a small peace offering because I know you hate red. I absentmindedly entertained the idea of you with green hair while I was casting and because of that became distracted and... You know the result.

I'm really sorry!

Is there anything I can do for you until your hair is back to normal? I know what a stickler you are for your appearance so I can run some errands, if you need.

Potter

P.S.  
I believe that is your favourite shade of green at least?

******

Potter,

I didn't expect you to own up to it, though of course I knew it had to be you: the prank was harmless enough to rule out anyone with a truly bitter grudge against me, but too specific to be an accident or executed by someone who doesn't know me (and my meticulous hair regimen) as well.

I find your explanation pushes the limits of my credulity, but I am willing to accept it in light of your taking responsibility for your actions and offer of restitution. Also, it is exactly the sort of implausible happenstance that has always characterized your life and caused those around your to suffer. 

Seeing as you let me make a fool of myself in our place of work for an indeterminate amount of time before I discovered the result of your misguided attempt at an olive branch, I think it only fair you are made a fool of in return.

I shall leave it to you to suggest suitable means of repayment. I have house-elves to tend to my practical needs, but this spell is distressingly tenacious so I expect you to redouble whatever efforts you are putting into reversing it. The longer my hair remains this unnatural shade, the harsher my punishment shall be.

DM

******

Malfoy,

First if all, you have grown a lot since we were boys--you've gone from squawking threats and relying on your father for follow through, to truly terrifying in your own right.

I wanted to say something, really, but I had hoped I could approach you with a cure along with the explanation so you would at least spare my balls.

Speaking of, (the cure, not my balls), I have good news and bad news. The good news is I have your answer, and luckily the colour is temporary and will change back on its own. The bad news is it will take three days.

I will accept whatever punishment you choose, provided it's not illegal, life threatening, job risking, or maiming. Standard practice, that. 

Potter

******

Potter,

In that case, I have a most fetching ball gown for you to wear in the office on the day of my return. It is fine silk organza, empire-waisted and strapless, and the same shade as my hair (which is, indeed, one of my favourites...when it isn't marring my precious locks). You'll look stunning. I have already received approval from Kingsley for you to be out-of-uniform that day.

What time tomorrow will be good for you to come by the Manor for your fitting? And would you prefer flats or heels?

DM

******

Malfoy,

If I am going to be forced into a dress, I am going to work it. Heels all the way, baby.

Potter

******

Potter,

How sporting! Kudos to you.

But you missed the most pertinent question: what time?

(Isn't attention to detail one of the core traits of a successful Auror? It's a wonder you've survived this long without an adept partner such as I.)

DM

******

Malfoy,

I am available any time after 6, as long as I can get everything done on time. (I swear, it's like you planned for this to happen with how much unfinished paperwork is in your inbox.) Though I am surprised you're trusting me in your home. Didn't you say something about me tainting it when I suggested having a drink together to let bygones be bygones? What changed your mind--the thought of seeing me naked for a fitting, perhaps?

Potter

******

Potter,

'Tainting it?' That doesn't sound like something I would say. Sullying it with your limited hygiene, unrefined manners, and general Gryffindorishness, maybe.

But I am willing to overlook your limitations in the spirit of reconciliation. Much like our noble superior, my commitment these last few years has been unshakably founded on the principles of unity and restoration, hence my magnanimous offer of this simple way for you to make amends so that our fledgling partnership can continue unfettered. Why, I am even paying for the outfit and its fitting out of my own pocket! I trust you can recognize just how far I am reaching to meet you on this playing field.

I must admit, your mention of 'seeing you naked' intrigues me on a number of axes. That had not been anywhere in my mind when I made the suggestion of you coming here--rather, it was a consideration born of my inability to leave my home in my current state. I had not intended to be in the room with you during your fitting out of deference to your privacy, but if you are offering, I would be remiss to decline.

I had also, perhaps erroneously, assumed you wore undergarments beneath your Auror's robes. Either I was mistaken or your personal tailor has taken some liberties with you in the past. My interest is undoubtably piqued.

So which is it, Potter, are you pants-averse or do I need to pay a visit to your unscrupulous clothier so that I may shake his or her hand?

6:00 is fine. I suppose I can feed you since it is a dinner hour.

See you then.

DM

******

Malfoy,

I had no idea you were so interested in my undergarments.

I don't own pants as I find them uncomfortable. I wore silk for a while, but they were ruined in a matter of days due to the rough nature of our job and my preference for denims.

What about you?

Potter

******

Potter,

I confess I dismissed your original offer of drinks because I thought you were being insincere. However, in light of recent events, I am coming to believe I may have been in error. My apologies.

I haven't yet forgiven you for this grave insult to my coiffure (intentional or otherwise), but if you play your cards right tomorrow evening, you stand a chance of discovering the answer to your question on your own.

And if I've completely misinterpreted your tone--it can be difficult with owls, you know--feel free to disregard this letter.

You'll be wearing that dress either way.

Draco

******

Draco, is it? I could get used to that.

Any tips for making sure we both thoroughly enjoy the evening? After food and fitting, of course. I have a feeling we'll need the energy, and the fact I'll be completely starkers should save some time... If things go well enough.

Even with the dress bit, I'm looking forward to it.

Harry

\------

Potter,

I am more flexible than you know. In every sense of the word. I do not think we will have a problem enjoying ourselves quite thoroughly.

See you at six.

Draco


End file.
